


Never Screw with a Qrow

by AssassinNumber9



Category: RWBY
Genre: Caught in the Act, Crack, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Qrow be asking for days off so he can clap cheeks, The kids are now scarred for life, especially Weiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28175259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinNumber9/pseuds/AssassinNumber9
Summary: Crows are bad luck. Don't screw with one. ...Or screw one. Great job, guys, now the kids are scarred. Except Yang, who's all for it. Also, Clover's luck wins again.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Winter Schnee
Kudos: 32





	Never Screw with a Qrow

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in my docs for a while. I just thought I should finish it before I started on chapter 2 of Riding High. Why is Qrow just so shippable?
> 
> Enjoy this awful crackfic.

“So, I walked into this pet store-”

“Why did you walk into a pet store? Need a new bone to chew on?”

“Oh haha, just because I’m a dog faunus doesn’t mean I like chewing on bones, Elm. Anyway, I walked into this pet store,” and so Marrow went on with his story that had nothing to do with the previous topic at hand, not that anyone was going to say anything so to help avoid his moping and pouting on the mission they were currently heading on. It was better to simply allow him to speak about nothing. His fellow Ace Ops rolled their eyes and shook their heads while the rookie huntsmen behind them, involving teams RWBY and JNR as well as Oscar and Penny, chuckled at the huntsman with the tail.

“So, Uncle Qrow isn’t coming with us today?” Ruby questioned, a somewhat disappointed tone apparent in her voice. Unlike the missions prior, where it was normally Qrow and Clover paired up together with Elm and Vine paired with JNR and Harriet and Marrow with RWBY, they were assigned as a single, large group while Oscar replaced Qrow.

“I mean, I understand Oscar coming with us to help get him stronger at a faster pace, but Qrow not coming with us is kind of weird,” Jaune agreed. The man had definitely grown on the teens. He was a role model to them - led them to where they needed to go, informed them of the real hazards, and most importantly protected them when they most needed it. He was always there for them, even if he denied it by saying it was his job as part of the brotherhood. Even Weiss, who hadn’t been given the best of first impressions, had grown quite close to him. “Is there a reason why he isn’t coming?”

Clover gave a slight grin and a chuckle, perhaps the operatives knew something that the younger ones didn’t, but the other Ace Ops had seemed to be just as confused. Maybe it was something between friends? “Everything’s fine. He just requested a day off. He’s been through more than the lot of you know, and even the best of the best need some time to just allow the stress to decay.”

The group fell silent, perhaps in agreement, perhaps in confusion, or maybe even because Blake had randomly put her ears to the side with a blush on her face. “You okay, Blake? You look kind of disturbed?” Yang asked her while Marrow resumed in telling his stories.

“Um, do you guys hear something?” Her blush seemed to be getting darker and darker the farther they walked.

“You’re going to have to specify, Blake. We don’t have the same hearing as you,” Weiss giggled. “You look like someone just told an embarrassing story about you though. What’s up?”

“Um, I h-hear banging and, um, voices.”

“Banging and voices?” Oscar’s voice rang. Nobody else heard anything, not even Marrow. But then again, he was too busy barking up a storm. “What do you think that could be?”

“Um, I, uh, I don’t know.”

“Oh, I get it. Oscar, Ruby, maybe you two should cover your ears,” Nora laughed along with Yang while the rest of them blushed. Ruby and Oscar looked at each other, looking like the former’s cape.

“Oh gods, that would be glorious to see! That would be _some_ contraband!” commented the short huntress in front of them. Their conversation must have gotten a little louder than anticipated. The Ace Ops seemed amused at the thought. “Who do you think it is? I’d bet quite a bit of lien on it being Welsch and Aqua.”

“It can’t be them. They’ve been on patrol near the eastern borders for two weeks and haven’t come back yet,” Elm spoke. “What about those two from the air unit? They’ve seemed pretty close since they met.”

“I don’t think they would have the guts to do that. They’re afraid to scratch their noses,” Vine added.

“What do you think, Captain?”

“Hey! I’m telling a story here!” the male faunus exclaimed, turning around and walking backwards. The crew went silent.

“Thank you. Anyway, it isn’t like we’re ever going to figure out who it i-IIIS!” Unfortunately, Marrow had accidentally turned, running into a door and pushing it wide open. “Ow! That hurt!” He yelled, falling on his back. His fellow huntsmen laughed as he sat up, rubbing his head.

Clover cleared his throat, realizing that there was somebody in the room. “Ha, I’m sorry about my teammate. He’s a little bit of a…” The lucky man ceased his apology, looking up and finally taking note of who it was he was talking to. “Oh shit, this is-”

“Uncle Qrow?”

“Winter?”

Icy blue and dusty red stared at them in complete shock from the bed, covers (thankfully) covering everything that needed to be. Winter looked to be straddling Qrow, back bare, with her long hair down and messy unlike the usual bun it was normally styled into. Qrow was on his back underneath her, hair looking like a nest, with his legs peeking out from beneath the covers. It was obvious what, _ahem,_ activity they were participating in. Nobody, uh, expected this. Or at least, from the two caught red-handed. Okay, maybe Qrow, but definitely _not_ Winter and especially not from the both of them _together_.

There was complete silence for a long moment with the team staring at the pair before Elm finally spoke up, “and you were saying how we weren’t going to find out?”

“I-I’m so sorry, Special Operative Schnee! Uh-um, I, uh, wasn’t watching where I was going and-”

“Nice job, Uncle Qrow!” Yang called.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Weiss spoke.

Suddenly, a glyph appeared before them, a beowolf materializing from the center. It growled at the intruders before a gust of wind sent them flying backwards, and the slam of a door sounded throughout the hallway.

The group sat on the ground for a bit before they heard loud moans and chuckles sound from the other side of the door once more. Clover suddenly grinned. “Alright guys, pay up. I called it.” The rest of the ace ops groaned as lien was passed over to him.


End file.
